I figured if Jay-Z had the authority to kill off autotune, then someone of my stature surely could do the same for the most over-abused trend since the Livestrong bracelet.  Judging by your superior ability to read titles, you likely already know that I’m referring to the Ray-Ban (or replicated rip-off) wayferer sunglasses.  You know what I’m talking about. I know you do. You’ve seen it a thousand times (assuming you’ve only seen 1,400 people in the last two years).

I wouldn’t say fashion is an area of expertise, but I do feel qualified to point out annoying elements of society, being someone who contributes on such a large scale.  It’s amazing how quickly this particular fad went from standout to standard.

• 1 year ago: Funny & original
• 9 months ago: Still slightly funny but far less original
• 5 months ago: Noticeable mainstream trend
• 3 months ago: Annoying
• Sometime last week: You’re a sheep

Odds are I’ve just offended you, or somebody close to you.  That’s okay.  Someone needs to stand up for the sake of individuality.  I’m calling for a systematic destruction of this fad.  Unfortunately, if you were ahead of the curve and wore these shades before they morphed into an über trend, there is no grandfathering in of this rule.  Odds are, anyone who was ahead of this curve has already abandoned ship out of fear for being mistaken as a lemming.  If you’re too stubborn to throw in the towel, then you must be told: “you are a sheep”.

Let’s not confuse what I’m arguing here: I do enjoy the look of the glasses.  Any article of clothing that appears to belong on someone under the age of 12, or a drunk person, is objectively a good thing.  Because of this, this particular instance of fashion murder is more difficult to bear.  It’s truly is a tragedy.  But as George realized with Lenny (Of Mice and Men, anyone?), sometimes you just have to do what’s in everyone’s best interest, no matter how hard it may be.  Let’s do what’s best for these glasses.  When 6 out of every 5 people between the ages of 17-25 own a pair of wayfarers, they are no longer funny.  There simply aren’t that many funny people.

Now that I have officially rang the death bell, you have inherited great responsibility.  Every time you see a friend wearing a pair of these shades, chastise them.  Continue to do so until they’ve either become deeply self conscious, or they no longer want to be your friend.  While this may reduce the number of your Facebook network, it will also simultaneously strengthen the legitimacy of your average friend.  If you’re more interested in showcasing your electronic social acceptance, then you should probably go out and buy some wayfarers.  Or should I say, another pair.