outdoors tag

How to Eat Like a King on the Appalachian Trail

Nature will do all that it can to restrict your ability to eat like the rightful monarch that you are.  That’s why in this lengthy 35 second video not only do you learn how to eat like a king, but you learn what a beetle/dinosaur looks like in the process.

Just so you know eating like a king on the Appalachian Trail isn’t as easy as what’s demonstrated in this video.  This particular skill requires years of meditation and heightened beetle/dinosaur attracting skills.  I trained with a monk based out of Cincinnati, considered one of the top 4 beetle attractors in all of Western Ohio, and in that time I obtained the skills necessary for the advanced tactics you’ve just witnessed.  This video is not CGI and this beetle/dinosaur is not a paid actor, this is real life drama unfolding before your very eyes.  Some call it a miracle.  Others aren’t paying close enough attention.

I know what you’re saying to yourself: “but his beard is so rustic that it could drive a monster truck through the fiery gates of hell and not slow down as it plowed over rage infested demons.”  I agree with you.  Good point.

How to Prepare for Hiking the Appalachian Trial: Physical Endurance Training

physical endurance training

If you could be inside of my brain right now, you’d be punching yourself in the face because everything was moving too fast.

That’s the byproduct of realizing that you’ve just committed to spending a half year in the woods.  Shit.

As long as I’ve signed myself up for this bout of insanity, I’m going to take the steps necessary to make sure that I’m a highly tuned hiking/camping machine before I ever step foot onto the Appalachian Trail.

The following video demonstrates how far I’ve already come.