Chances are you’ve heard of the term dine and dash. It refers to the act of eating at a restaurant and leaving without paying the bill. Quite simply, it’s stealing.
It’s less likely, however, that you’ve heard of the term, drive and Dasch. It’s where you’re a U.S. Senator and hire a driver to escort you around in luxury vehicles and then fail to pay any taxes on the service. Oh, and your name has to be Tom Daschle. This also is stealing. Read More »
I’m a Cubs fan. Usually that brief statement automatically elicits a series recycled jokes.
Q: “What do the World Series and a polar bear on birth control have in common?”
A: “THEY CAN’T HAVE CUBS!”
That’s just one of the many hilarious offerings often delivered by Cardinals fans, White Sox fans, or the dorky guy who gets satisfaction through relaying cliché jokes. These puns might be funny for those of you who are dealing them, but from the perspective of a Cubs fan, it’s about as fresh as Kriss Kross. Read More »
Those tickets must have cost a fortune and these people choose to witness the moment through a 3 inch LCD screen. Are we more interested in showing off our experiences to others versus enjoying the experience itself? I bet a couple dozen of these turned into facebook profile pictures…
Also, when did the First Couple become the head of an aristocracy? I compare this to the people who line up outside Buckinghmam Palace to watch the changing of the guards. We should be concerned with President Obama’s executive moves, not his dance moves.
That is unless he were to break out into the robot.
Google Life? Sounds like an overly ambitious Google service. It’s not – it’s a state of being. Not in some abstract sense that a professor would use to stereotype my generation. Rather it’s a indication of how we’re capable of having our entire e-lives placed into the colorful hands of Google. For those of you who haven’t already become entirely dependent on the Internet giant’s offerings, take a trip down the rabbit hole with me and discover all the wonderful web addictions you too can develop…
I know many of you wait for the last digit of the date-odometer to flip before you start to evaluate the status of your life and make any necessary adjustments. Not only is this a completely arbitrary way to fix any problems that may linger in our lives, but they often don’t last much longer than a Brady Bunch marathon. Why do they fail? Many attribute it to the difficulty for humans to break their normal everyday pattern. Maybe that’s true, but if we were able to develop more exciting resolutions, then we’d have something to charge us out of bed in the morning. I now present to you three inspiring New Year’s resolutions for 2009:
I’m not being facetious. It is Naught-y out. I hate to sound like a broken record as much as I hate to use cliches to make a point (not true), but it’s ZERO outside (Monday night: Madison, WI). “0 is neither positive nor negative” according to Wikipedia. Well according to Zachopedia zero is extremely negative. Negative in the sense that when you’re outside you hate everything in your path and peripheral. Negative in the sense that you’re unable to manufacture ideas without your brain screaming messages of “STOP DOING THIS TO ME.” Negative in the sense if pressed to produce a positive thought, you’d have ZERO output.
For the record, when I speak of zero, I’m giving the benefit of the doubt. Zero is the temperature. If you want the wind chill, which is what the temperature feels like to HUMAN BEINGS, then we have to dig below the value of NOTHING, by fifteen degrees Fahrenheit. For the minority of the earth that uses the Metric system perhaps NEGATIVE 26 degrees Celsius means something to you.
At least in Madison…so far this month…which hasn’t yet been two weeks…
Ok it’s possible that Global Warming or Climate Change or Operation Human Being Self Elimination or whatever you want to call it has little to nothing to do with the misery outside. All I know is that I can’t remember a colder, windier, snowier period BEFORE winter officially started.
“It’s days like today where you have to embrace the weather. Of course the only other option is to go completely mad.”
Is the Internet our economic savior? It’s part of it, according to President Elect Barack Obama. By making all of our medical records accessible electronically at every doctor’s office and hospital, not only will this save lives, but also billions of dollars each year.