Scene: While at the grocery store, rummaging through the produce section like I know what a good cantaloupe looks like (I don’t), my afternoon is instantly ruined by the venomous noise of a screaming toddler. It’s an unmistakable combination of unreasonable complaining with pure hysteria. Words, screaming, and dry heave crying are blended together like it was the latest offering from Jamba Juice.
Of course by the end of this song, Mom is so suicidal that she’ll grant Screamy whatever material object will allow her 12 seconds of escape from the constant torment of raising a child. Screamy gets the robot dinosaur boat DVD (i have no idea what kids like), mommy gets a little bit of quiet, and The Good Badger gets livid. Read more →
Americans Dunks on People; Europeans do not. These are non-debatable facts. In case your patriot meter was lagging today, watch this video and you’ll be reciting the Pledge of Allegiance faster than you can say “KFC Double Down Sandwich“.
I first fell upon Louis C.K.’s stand up during his hour long special on HBO. It was nothing short of magical.
An average stand up routine will typically rouse a couple of chuckles, but I’m onto the next channel within the first few minutes. A good standup routine will keep my attention throughout the entire performance, with consistent levels of laughter. During Louis C.K.’s stand up, I developed a laughter induced hernia, 1-hour of comedy turned into 3 hours of total watch time due to constant rewinding from residual laughter drowning out proceeding jokes, and several pieces of furniture were destroyed in the process (I’m a violent laugher). Read more →
The earthquake’s origins were in Baja, Mexico, but the BPM’s of my heart monitor would indicate the quake was isolated inside my apartment. In hindsight, it was no big deal. The walls and floor rumble for a half a minute, your dishes shake, and you pee yourself a little. Kind of fun actually. But it’s also educational. You learn a lot about yourself. Here’s what I learned about The Good Badger during an earthquake .
Entirely unprepared. My initial reaction was to lay in bed. My next reaction was to duck and cover. Luckily I was with gf who is much smarter than I. As soon as she could get me to stop crying, we fled outside.
Entirely unprepared pt. II. On my way out, I forgot to grab my shoes, wallet, keys, or any snacks. Upsetting, but not the end of the world. What is far more traumatic, however, is forgetting my iPhone. How was I supposed to Tweet my paranoia, check in on Foursqure (you’ll see in a minute), tell mom not to worry (in a very worried tone), or even find news about the earthquake. Fortunately 12 of the 12 neighbors around me had their iPhones and were kind enough to show me the drop pin of the earthquake’s epicenter no more than 10 minutes after it occurred (awesome). iPhone, will you ever forgive me?
Technology is Awesome. Within minutes the TwitOSphere was overrun with fellow San Diegons giving their 140 character takes on the situation. True, nothing anyone said saved, prevented, or helped anything, only because their was nothing to save. With that said, there’s a calming presence knowing other people are going through the same thing. Had the situation been worse, however, Twitter has proven to be a life saving resource.
Technology is Awesome pt II. A new social media service has poked its head into the emergency reaction game- Foursquare. For those who are still unfamiliar, Foursquare is a location based, social-networking service, where users “check in” to different establishments to notify their friends of their whereabouts and collect badges. One of the more highly sought after badges, The Swarm Badge, is acquired after you check in to the same establishment with at least 49 other Foursquare members simultaneously. Within a half hour, someone created the check-in location “earthquake”, and over 70 people checked in. I’m guessing this is the first time the service has been used to check into a establishment-less event. I’m also guessing it’s not the last. Either way, I got me a Swam Badge, suckas!
My takeaway from this: Apple needs to invent an iPhone holder which you can put inside of your body. Maybe a surgically attached Kangaroo pouch. The iPouch?
On a fairly regular basis I get fan e-mail about people giving constructive criticism for ways to improve the site.
Please stop posting. – Josh in IA
I found your site through stumbleupon.com and can honestly say this is the worst thing that has happened to me all day. Tessa in NY
I want to punch you in the adams apple. – Laura in WI
Thanks for the feedback guys. I’ve taken your suggestions for improvement to heart and have outlined an 8 step program for how I plan to finally make this site enjoyable. I’m especially excited for step 6… Read more →